Happy New Year!
I hope everyone had a safe and relaxing holidays!
While many things in life can only be observed in such a way, not everything in life is simply black and white...
A Women, single finds out she’s pregnant, but continues to smoke and drink alcohol for the duration of her pregnancy. Or maybe she just decreases the amount she smokes and drinks. Does this make her a irresponsible mother/person? Majority of people would agree. Does this make her Selfish? Putting her needs and cravings/addictions before her unborn child? Majority of people would agree with this also. Do her actions show that she does not care for the well being of the unborn child?
A Women, former victim of domestic violence chooses to learn to fight professionally. Potentially putting herself at risk for serious injuries while doing so. Injuries that could leave her unable to provide or take care of her children. Does this make her an irresponsible mother/person? Does this make her actions selfish? Does this mean she doesn’t care for her children?
In a sense yes this makes them both selfish. But to what extent? Is, one Women’s actions more acceptable under the circumstances compared to the other? One action doesn’t have any real benefit other than the satisfaction of a craving/addiction, if this is even considered a benefit. The other improves mental, physical and emotional health all while influencing and motivating others to do the same. Is it fair to call both these mother’s irresponsible? Is it fair to say that they are Selfish? Do both their actions show that they do not care for the well being if their children? Can these two Women even be compared and tossed in the same boat and judged the same way?
So, what makes either one a bad mother? Is it lack of judgement? Not knowing when to stop? Or when enough is enough?
If one person makes a lot of mistakes in life, does this make that person a “bad” person? Or to be known to make “bad judgements”? Does this make one person better than the other? Better in which ways? Maybe if they were being compared to someone who never makes mistakes, or claims to never make mistakes in their life. Sometimes a good or bad judgement call cannot be foreseen.
Knowing when you’ve had enough alcohol, drugs, food, sex etc, is an independent judgement. Knowing when you’ve had enough emotional and physical abuse in a relationship and judging for yourself when its time to walk away and never look back is another way of using your independent judgement. Only you can know what your own limitations are and when you’ve had enough or too much of something.
Knowing and taking into account that there is a developing human life inside of you that requires extra care and precautions is also using one’s own judgement to not only care for yourself but the life inside of you. Lack of good judgement definitely makes one’s actions demonstrate a lack of care, responsibility and show selfishness. Its also categorized as neglect.
Both mother’s judgements are questionable, but only one’s actions has benefits. Benefits that severely outweigh the risks if proper judgement is taken into precaution.
Trust in your own judgement and when your not sure what to do, ask for help!
Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self respect, values, morals and self worth - My new Mantra.